Little Eyes, Big Heart

Gabi won’t ever know how he changed my world. He won’t know how much his sparkling laughter filled my heart with joy. He’ll probably never remember the day the game of toppling crayons helped ease me over the summit of working with three year-olds. There isn’t much that can make me cry, but Gabi’s innocent presence, surprising giggles and hopeful eyes, brought a single tear of hope and joy to my cheek one Wednesday afternoon.

For weeks Gabi never said a word. Months passed and I never heard him make a single noise. I often wondered if he could speak. He was usually skipped over in participation activities either because of his shyness or inability. I didn’t know which, because I only had thirty minutes to whisk out an activity, make sure all the kids said “eyes, mouth, nose” and repeated “cat” six times. There were 24 other babbling toddlers and I never had a spare moment to sit alone with Gabi.

This particular day I was blessed with a few free minutes. I sat down next to the precious blond to help him color. He stared at me when I asked him what his favorite color was and when I put a yellow crayon in his tiny hand, he limply held on. I pulled out a crayon of every color and asked him to choose his favorite. Huge blue and silent eyes blared into me, and after an entire minute he chose another yellow one. Perhaps that really was his favorite color and couldn’t be bothered about any others.

I began standing the cylindrical crayons up on their bottoms to create a domino trail of colors. Very softly, I asked Gabi to choose a different color. Five crayons were standing tall, and another manic three year-old jerked the table and they all came toppling down. My mouth clenched up. I was nervous about what Gabi would do. Would he lose interest, throw the crayons, or keep sitting there blankly? Instead he smiled. A half smile, which was followed by his tiny hand reaching over to put the crayons back up!

For the next few minutes we stood crayons up into a single file line and then we’d jiggle the table and they’d come crashing down. The more crayons there were and louder they fell, the more Gabi would laugh. By the fifth toppling, he was standing on his feet laughing out loud! His eyes were interested, his hands were in control and his mouth was joyfully smiling. I had never seen his little self so energetic and capable.

For fifteen minutes, we took turns reaching into the tray and painstakingly creating crayon trails. We were working with diligent interest and shutting out the outside world. My frustration and hesitancy about my work melted away that afternoon. I now clearly understood my role here at the primary school. A small patch of doubt was replaced with the hope Gabi had laughed into my heart and I felt complete.

*Name of student has been changed.